Spoiler alert!
Two things popped into my head as King Viserys of House Targaryan, First of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm staggered into the Throne Room wearing a solid gold modesty mask.
The first was… that is some Bond villain epic shit. The second was…
OH GOD I HAVE TO WRITE A SONG NOW.
Remember those, kittens? Back in the last few seasons of Game of Thrones, when something about the episode would inspire me to do my best Weird Al Yankovic and parody the hell out of a pop song? Remember that my creative output is ultimately 93 per cent parody and only 7 per cent original material? REMEMBER THAT, KITTENS?
Wellof course I immediately cranked this 1995 Pierce Brosnan beauty, and I urge you to listen along as we introduce the Misguided Villain himself, Goldenface.
See the friction ‘tween wife and daughter
Focused on each spluttered breath
See them battle for status and power
For how long can you cheat death?
Goldenface
His one true weakness
Goldenface
Happy families
Goldenface
He wants completeness
You say “deez nuts” but man, whose nuts are deez?
You’ll never know how Aemond
Looked so creepy when he smiled
You’ll never know how Aegon
Takes serving girls to be defiled
You’ll never know the plots, the schemes,
The games, the games they’ve played
But are you Wesley Snipes
Cause you’ve really f**ked up that Blade
See him move to yoke division
One last time on Throne of red
Daemon’s sword will silence petition
Hey Vaemond think twice ‘fore you lose your head
Goldenface
Like crusty pleather
Golden mask
donned to face augment
Goldenface
His skin ain’t together
Somehow this bloke looks worse than
Harvey Dent
You’ll never know how your toast
Did so much work to reconcile
You’ll never know whether Corlys made it out
To be alive
It’s a cold, unfunny slap
You’ll get tonight Your Grace
Detente, you were close, you had it almost
Now you’ve bombed the fireplace
With a Goldenface
Golden, Goldenface
With a Goldenface
Goldenface
After nearly 20 years of time jumps (more if you count the episode 1 pre-credit sequence naming Viserys as heir), Viserys finally pops his Dr Scholl’s support clogs at the end of this episode, having done the most he possibly could to bring the divided wings of House Targaryen back together…. annnnd then f*** it all up again.
You haven’t seen that big a choke since Sydney Swans at the 2022 AFL grand final/Greg Norman at the 1996 Masters/Bon Scott on his own vomit.
Clearly his purple haze relieved pain, but it clouded his mind right as he lost cognitive function.
Family dramas were SO CLOSE to cooling off.
Rhaenyra and Alicent were SO CLOSE to making up.
Everybody Loves Vaemond was SO CLOSE to not having his head lopped off via the mouth.
Viserys was almost the peacemaker king he wanted to be. Or in the words of another legendary spy:
Strap yourselves in, kittens, it’s going to be a bumpy night.
It’s been six years or so since the controversial wake for Laena Velaryon, the “death” of her brother Laenor, and the wedding of Rhaenyra and Daemon.
The factions have stayed apart like a fussy kid separating each individual food item on their plate. If no one touches, no one gets hurt.
Unfortunately the Sea Snake has had the nerve to be touched up by a pirate’s dagger (not a euphemism) and a subsequent fever, and it's his precarious grip on mortality that brings all parties into each other’s orbit once more.
Princess Rhaenys is very comfortable ruling Driftmark, with her granddaughter Baela as her ward, but Corlys’ brother Vaemond Valeryon has decided now is the time to make a play for the Driftwood Throne, should Corlys take a one way trip to Davy Jones’ locker.
Last episode Rhaenys had pleaded with Corlys to make Baela the heir, but some years on she seems content for it to go to her husband’s preferred choice, Lucerys Velaryon, Rhaenyra’s son with Laenor, cough cough. Vaemond starts making hints about whose blood is real, but Rhaenys calls him out for potential treason. “I would like your support, but I don’t need it,” he hisses, trying to be a Sea Snake himself, but coming across more like a Sea Legless Lizard.
Baela soon sends word of her uncle’s treachery to her Dad, Daemon, who’s busy spelunking Dragonstone’s many crevices (also not a euphemism) looking for dragon eggs. Syrax has laid a cluster of three, which he excitedly reports back to their onsite dragon handlers. Daemon is keen to get as many scaly buns in the oven as possible.
It becomes clear why when we later realise that Rhaenyra is knocked up yet again (with a SIXTH child, we shall soon realise, meaning a dragon egg for each of her kids with Daemon). She’s been trying to help Jacerys learn High Valyrian, which doesn’t seem to come as naturally to him as it does Rhaenyra and Daemon. He seems to speak with a strong accent, if you get my drift.
Rhaenyra sees Vaemond’s petition to be named heir to Driftmark and the Lord of the Tides title as calling her kids’ legitimacy into question, something she didn’t think she’d have to deal with again after Alicent’s outburst. But she has no choice but to defend her son. “To King’s Landing, then,” Daemon says, touching her exceedingly fertile belly.
King’s Landing has had a slight makeover since we last saw it. Remember when Otto told Alicent to go and be penitent after she slashed Rhaenyra’s forearm? Girl has taken that to heart, and really leaned into the boring aesthetic of the New Gods. She’s replaced the Targaryen round window with a seven-pointed star, and is even wearing a big heavy necklace with the same symbol.
She’s gone full Lady Whiteadder.
Although I doubt that turnip reminds her of her wedding night.
Nobody has turned up to greet them either, apart from one minor Lord (Lord Caswell, the same one whom I believe congratulated Rhaenyra on Joffrey’s birth as she staggered up the stairs with the child).
No matter, Rhaenyra and Daemon see themselves into Viserys’ chamber, to find his replica model of Valyria abandoned and literally smoking, as a subtle commentary on what is happening with his own reign.
The old bugger looks like a cross between an Egyptian mummy and the young Benjamin Button, who was actually the old and scabrous Benjamin Button. He doesn’t seem to recognise people anymore, even his own daughter. This is IMPORTANT for LATER.
Daemon is not impressed his big bro’s been strung out on Milk of the Poppy, but Rhaenyra attempts to pep him up by introducing TWO new grandkids - Aegon and Viserys. I get Viserys, no better way to flatter the old dude, but it’s a weird flex going with Aegon when there’s already Alicent’s Aegon.
Speaking of which, I am not happy to be proved right that Aegon Wanks Out Window is a narcissistic shitbag - and a rapist to boot. I actually felt sorry for Alicent, having to delay doing her Queenly duty and greeting Rhaenyra and Daemon, and instead go and troubleshoot a crying young servant girl who got attacked simply for serving the Prince his wine.
This was a complicated scene, and really beautifully played by Olivia Cooke. Her Alicent had genuine concern for Dyana, the maid. She hugged her, and told her she believed her. But then she reminded the girl that not everyone would treat her with such respect, and well, we know what happens to girls who lure boys into traps. She pressed a bag of doubloons into Dyana’s hand, then made her drink that notoriously convenient “tea”.
“My son is a prick. I am better. I have to be better. Aren’t I?”
So Alicent protected her son’s reputation; but to her credit she did go and rip strips off him while he lay hungover in bed. “You’re no son of mine,” she spat at him, even when he made a play for sympathy and claimed he tried so hard but it was never enough for his parents. Tried what exactly, mate? Tried to keep it in your pants for an entire day?
Quick aside to note that when Alicent ripped his blanket off, we saw fair up Aegon’s… well, what Australian vernacular commonly refers to as “the clacker”. I don’t think we’ve ever seen that arse angle before on the show; normally buttocks are seen top down, or side on, and are rounded and smooth. This was bottom up, with gape. We *almost* saw taint, people. I mean, that’s some ground-breaking cinematography right there.
There is a parallel here with Cersei Lannister, who indulged Joffrey as her precious boy who could do no wrong, and only realised he was a violent psychopath once she’d lost the ability to curb his desires and rages.
Both Alicent and Cersei still love their boys, but I think Alicent has the clearer concept of what her eldest son is. I do also think that she has a modicum of regret about how she’s raised him; Cersei could never bear to be that introspective.
Finally, it’s important to note that Alicent said “Think about how this affects your wife”, by which she must mean Helena. The girl herself then wanders in looking for Dyana the servant girl, because she normally dresses “the children”. While this wasn’t dwelled on for long, I feel we need a moment to acknowledge that brother and sister have married each other and have produced at least two children who are cousins as well as siblings.
Eventually Alicent gets up to Viserys’ room to greet her enemies. They’re unimpressed by the hold she and Ser Otto have over the King, even though she insists they haven’t seen how much he suffers without helpfully cloudy pain medication.
Daemon and Rhaenyra are full of sarcastic “Hmnmms” and “Ha!s”, particularly when Alicent informs them she and Otto will be deciding the Driftmark claim, but don’t worry, she is guided by Viserys’ wishes and wisdom and absolutely no self-interest at all.
Meanwhile Luke and Jace are out in the training yard reliving their younger days. Luke confesses he’s nervous about his claim being upheld, because neither of them really resemble their “father”, Ser Laenor.
But they’re interrupted by a bout going on in the other corner of the yard - Ser Criston Cole training with Aemond. This is our first proper glimpse of the Dread Pirate Targaryen, and WOW is he a lot more menacing-looking than his elder brother. It’s not just the eyepatch and scar either; his face has more angles than an Escher.
So pointy.
“You’ll be winning tourneys in no time,” Ser Criston congratulates his charge after he finds himself at the point of Aemond’s sword. “I don’t give a shit about tourneys,” Aemond blankly responds, then spies Jace and Luke hanging at the back of the crowd. “Nephews, have you come to train?”
His accent and delivery are clipped and menacing, and it’s no wonder our super cute Beverly Hills 90210 boys look like they’re about to… well, again the Australian vernacular would phrase it “crap their daks”.
Luckily they’re saved by the arrival of Everybody Loves Vaemond Velaryon, and I certainly must throw at least some admiration for the Velaryon theme tune. I’ve been meaning to say this for ages, but in case Lord Corlys doesn’t make it and we don’t get to hear it much again, it’s a drum and horn masterpiece that is almost enough to make me forget my seasickness and get on a battleship.
Back to the action, and look! It’s Rhaenyra and Rhaenys and Rhaena, oh my!
Little Rhaes of sunshine.
The Queen That Never Was flew in on dragonback ahead of her cousin, who brought along her younger granddaughter to say hello for the first time in ages.
Rhaenys pings pretty quickly that Rhaenyra is desperate to maintain the illusion that her eldest sons are Velaryons. Rhaenyra is anxious and believes this whole petition charade is a trap set by Ser Otto and Alicent. Rhaenys returns fire; saying that Rhaenyra set a worse trap for her son Laenor.
Now we remember the last time Rhaenyra was interrogated in the Godswood - it was Alicent asking her if she’d done the nasty with her uncle after their night out partying in Fleabottom. Rhaenyra lied her head off then, so we know it’s in her skillset. However, I feel more honesty in the Princess during this encounter - whether that’s fuelled by the knowledge that Laenor isn’t actually dead, who knows, but it certainly feels like Rhaenyra knows lying to Rhaenys would be a waste of time.
Instead, she makes her an offer. Back Luke’s claim, and I’ll have my sons marry your granddaughters. It means Baela will be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms when Jace succeeds Rhaenyra; and Rhaena and Luke will carry on the Velaryon tradition at Driftmark.
“A generous offer,” Rhaenys responds, right as the thunder machine goes off somewhere behind the Heart Tree. “Or a desperate one.” Does it matter? Rhaenyra asks.
Rhaenys gets one thing wrong here. She’s expecting the Hightowers to be in charge of the decision when court assembles the next day, and she’s expecting them to go for Vaemond. If she sides with Rhaenyra now, she’ll be sidelined, which could ruin further chances for her granddaughters to leave their (Drift)mark. Remember when she begged Corlys to let Baela inherit? I think Rhaenys is still thinking how best to achieve the most favourable outcome for Laena’s girls.
But 24 hours is a long time in Westeros politics.
The rejection clearly weighs on Rhaenyra, and she goes to see her father again during the stormy night.
Fortune with Health stands at debate. The fall is grievous from aloft. And sure, circa Regna tonat.
He doesn’t recognise her at first, confusing her for Alicent. This is IMPORTANT for LATER. She wants to know whether The Song of Ice and Fire is true, and if he really thinks it’s up to her to carry the legacy.
I loved this scene because it shows for the first time Rhaenyra having some doubts about her ascension to the Iron Throne. She thought together they were going to unite the realm; all appointing her as heir has done is make everyone cranky. She even goes as far to say the burden is too heavy.
In his disturbed sleep, Viserys calls her “my only child” which is wrong because he has three others with Alicent, but right because she’s the only daughter of Aemma, his first and most beloved Queen.
The way Rhaenyra weeps here is so real: she’s sad for her father’s physical decline; she’s also terrified of what’s to come at dawn for her and her children.
What comes for Viserys at dawn is what must be his daily scraping, probing and re-patching. It’s not much of a life, having bodily fluids of all sorts sponged off by a team of medicine monks.
His groaning too is constant and relentless. In fact it feels like about 35 per cent of this entire episode is just Viserys moaning in agony.
They must have done a fair bit of CGI with Paddy Considine’s body in this scene too: not only the exposed wounds on his flesh; but his wasted frame as a whole. He must have been in a full body green morph suit for that entire time.
Despite the physical prison of his person, Viserys wants to make something of his day. He refuses more painkillers because he wants to keep his mind clear. And he orders Otto to pull together a family shindig for the whole family.
Oh, Viserys. The Dad who just wanted his blended family to get along on that hunting trip out of the city; the Dad who just wanted his blended family to get along after his grandson cut out his son’s eye and his wife slashed his daughter with a knife - that Dad is all Viserys ever was.
He knows he’s not long for the world, and damnit, he’s going to get everybody around the dining room table, and everybody’s going to BE POLITE, and everybody’s going to GET ALONG, and everybody’s going to EAT THEIR VEGETABLES.
This scene sets us up to not expect another appearance by Viserys until later in the episode. And boy, are we wrong.
As Hand of the King, Ser Otto takes charge of the family mediation session that is the Driftmark legacy dispute.
Vaemond is invited to speak first, and as expected he talks up the “special relationship” between the Targaryens and Velaryons.
Rhaenyra interrupts; but is told off by Alicent. Vaemond talks up his blood claim and humbly submits himself as the best possible heir.
As Rhaenyra starts to give her response to this “farce”, the great doors behind her wrench open, revealing none other than the King himself, dressed, crowned and walking with just the add of a stick.
Viserys hardly cuts an imposing figure, but it doesn’t matter. His presence, and determination to be king for one more day radiats the kind of BTE (Big Targaryen Energy) that would have made Aegon the Conqueror proud. The Goldenface mask doesn’t hurt either; weirdly adding an otherworldly vibe to his stooped posture.
It takes nearly two minutes of screen time for the King to hobble his way to the throne, allowing the camera to take in virtually everyone’s expression. Vaermond looks rightly pissed; he’d had a pre-show pow-wow with Alicent and Otto and was convinced the day would be his. Otto seems almost impressed; Alicent closes her eyes and lets out a soft exhale that says “Well, that’s it, we’re f***ed”. Rhaenys looks sad; and Rhaenyra can’t believe her father has come in to defend her, as she begged him to.
He shoos away his Kingsguard when they try to help him up the stairs; but when the crown slips off his shrunken head, it’s Daemon who comes to assist. Viserys allows this, and it’s a beautifully tender moment between the brothers. After all this time, and despite all his crazy chaos energy, Daemon still loves his big bro.
“A crown for a King.” This Viserys does a lot better with golden head adornments than a later one.
“Ok everyone, gotta admit I’m confused here,” Viserys wheezes out. “The Driftmark succession is settled… unless Princess Rhaenys can offer any insights?”
What a turnaround in fortune for Rhaenys and Rhaenyra. The former gets to speak her mind on the succession, and takes the opportunity to take up Rhaenyra on her offer of marriage for Jace/Baela and Luke/Rhaena. For her, this is seeing her granddaughters safe, and the Velaryon bloodline still in charge of Driftmark.
“Then it’s all settled!” Viserys proclaims.
OH HELL NO BITCH, counters Everybody Loves Vaemond.
Despite warnings from Viserys to hold off, he’s done with the charade. He’s helped his brother Corlys his whole life, and while Corlys has been obsessed with getting names into history books, Vaemond actually cares about proper bloodlines and traditions.
He unleashes on Jace, Luke and Rhaenyra, and it’s what we all expect.
“My house survived the Doom, and a thousand tribulations besides. And gods be damned, I will not see it ended on the account of this…”
“Say it,” Daemon whispers, and by God, if that wasn’t the dictionary definition of “f*** around and find out” I don’t know what is.
But Vaemond’s in full flight now. “Her children are BASTARDS! And she is…a WHORE.”
I adored the collective gasp from the assembled lords and ladies after “whore”. They didn’t gasp after Vaemond screamed “bastards” awfully loudly, oh no, they waited for him to finish the sentence. One can picture a conductor just offscreen gesturing “Annnnnnd NOW!” just to get the timing right.
Viserys is outraged, and struggles from his Throne, reaching for his dagger, saying he will have Vaemond’s tongue for that outrageous slur. Remember last time on Driftmark Viserys said any rumour-mongers would have their tongues cut out, so it’s not like this has come from nowhere.
Now if you, dear reader, are anything like me, you were captivated by Viserys’ declaration. You knew something would happen, and you maybe thought Daemon might be involved.
But were you ready for Daemon to SLICE VAEMOND’S HEAD OFF?!?!
I sure as Seven Hells wasn’t.
Where did Daemon even COME from? How did he get behind Vaemond so quickly and quietly? How the hell did they film that shot? Does the editor of this sequence now have carpal tunnel from jog-shuttling the cut point from Viserys back to Vaemond to the tiniest measurement of time known to man?
“He can keep his tongue,” Daemon says drolly, as Vaemond’s cleaved skull, with tongue lolling out of a non-existent mouth.
“Disarm him!” yells Ser Otto, and a bunch of Kingsguard and other lords whip their swords out. That might not be a euphemism for Daemon, but it seems Aemond has a battlefat. As Daemon says “No need,” and walks away wiping his sword with the edge of his coat, Eyepatch Kid looks positively turned on by the violence. Damn, Daemon, you’ve got to be careful. Maybe you can pull off chaos agent, but you don’t want to encourage your psycho nephew.
Viserys starts groaning again, and Alicent races to grab him. The fact she can basically lift him up shows how weak and feeble the body of the king truly is.
After such an epic scene, you’d think it might be a challenge for the show to top it. But instead, House of the Dragon goes all in with the Final Family Dinner scene, and
Alicent and Rhaenyra exchange side-eye glances at each other while everyone waits for Viserys to arrive. He’s carried in already on his chair, which is placed between his wife and eldest daughter.
Alicent offers a prayer before they begin; Daemon finds it hilarious when she wishes good rest for Vaemond Velaryon.
Viserys begins with a few toasts to the newly engaged cousins; and to Luke for being future Lord of the Tides. Aegon adds more droppings to his “piece of shit” bag by riling up Jace about the sex act. Jace seems to have inherited a polite and upright nature (thanks Ser Harwin, perhaps?) and tries to shut Aegon up. Thankfully Baela’s no fool; telling Aegon to shut it.
Paddy Considine has been superb this episode; you could mount an argument both he and Matt Smith should win awards for this episode alone. But the speech he gives here is truly extraordinary, as he removes his mask and reveals… a totally missing eye.
Like, that thing is TUNNELLED. OUT.
Half his cheek is missing too; somehow the exposure site hasn’t become a sprawling mass of pustulous infections.
He wants everybody to look at him as he is, in that moment, not as an all-powerful King, but as an all-too-mortal family man. He makes one final plea for reconciliation:
“Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. Set aside your grievances, if not for the sake of the crown, for the sake of this old man, who loves you all so dearly.”
With antagonism between the Green and Black camps at a simmering high before the dinner, it’s astonishing that Viserys’ call actually…. WORKS.
Rhaenyra jumps to her feet to propose a toast to Queen Alicent for her loyalty and devotion to Viserys. I’m not sure what drink Rhaenyra had, but hey why not a cheeky negroni?
Alicent almost bursts into tears, and for a moment you can see the girl who so loved her best friend Rhaenyra before adulthood messed everything up. She says they are both mothers who love their children, and salutes Rhaenyra with the highest honour: “You will make a fine Queen.”
Sadly Aegon has to be a total prick again, telling Baela to come to him if disappointed by Jace’s romantic prowess. Jace’s temper flares and he springs to his feet, matched by Evil Eye Aemond at the other end. But Jace shows some of those quick wits, hilariously given Aegon bestie bumps and toasting the brothers and their shared youth together.
Alicent almost bursts into tears, and for a moment you can see the girl who so loved her best friend Rhaenyra before adulthood messed everything up. She says they are both mothers who love their children, and salutes Rhaenyra with the highest honour: “You will make a fine Queen.”
Sadly Aegon has to be a total prick again, telling Baela to come to him if disappointed by Jace’s romantic prowess. Jace’s temper flares and he springs to his feet, matched by Evil Eye Aemond at the other end. But Jace shows some of those quick wits, hilariously given Aegon bestie bumps and toasting the brothers and their shared youth together.
Helena, the quirky queen, throws out a random “Beware the beast beneath the boards” prophecy before toasting Baela and Rhaena upon their upcoming marriages. “It isn’t so bad, mostly he just ignores you,” is her tragic-comic advice.
Viserys calls for music, and to get a cheeky payback on Aegon, Jace asks Helena to dance. The pair of them jump around while Rhaenyra and Daemon laugh together, Otto claps… somebody, and Viserys slowly realises he’s actually done it. He’s created a NICE FAMILY MEAL.
I honestly thought he was going to die right there in that chair. I wish now he had; it would have maybe bonded everybody closer in good feeling.
Instead, he is carried out, just as a sizzling suckling pig is put down in front of Aemond. Luke giggles at the visual humour of it, but Aemond can’t take any kind of joke, let alone one that might be at his expense.
His table thump stops the band, and he insists on toasting his nephews Jace, Luke and Joffrey, whom he describes as handsome, wise, and….
OH NO.
OH WE ALL KNOW WHAT’S COMING.
Jace and Luke are clearly on edge when it comes to their parentage. They’ve already been called bastards in public that day, and Aemond knows exactly how to push them over.
Also, Aemond is a right cockhead and frankly deserves a beating. Aegon too, to be honest. Sadly Rhaenyra’s boys aren’t as quick as their uncles and both get slapped about. Alicent chastises Aemond for rudeness, but he responds that he’s just proud of his family. Jace and Luke attempt to rush him again (also great detail in the back with Rhaena holding Baela back; love that she’s all in for Jace), but in steps Daemon, the only one who really could stop this kind of inter-family rivalry.
Gosh, this is a great moment. He holds up a finger, and says wait, which is enough to stop Rhaenyra’s sons in their tracks. Then he rounds on Aemond, sighs, and clasps his hands in front of his body. Aemond utters a Daemon-style “hmmm”, then swaggers off in exactly the way we’ve been noting Daemon does. Remember him stalking through Fleabottom after Rhaenyra all those years ago?
Clearly, game recognises game. He even gives a cheeky, “Get a load of that guy!” grin to Rhaenyra before following all the kids out, no doubt to make sure no one gets pushed down the stairs on their way to bed.
And then we’re treated to a sweet moment between Alicent and Rhaenyra, in which they both seem sorry for their dumb kids. Alicent even grabs Rhaenyra’s hand and holds it, trying to convince her not to go back to Dragonstone. Rhaenyra says she’ll see all the children home, then return on dragonback. My god, it was so tender, so promising, so full of hope. So close.
Before we get to the tragic ending of this episode - hey look, Magical Mysaria Tour is back! It turns out one of Alicent’s maids, Talya, is a spy for Daemon’s ex-girlfriend. And she’s got quite a report to deliver after that party.
Back to the Red Keep. Viserys lies in agony, and Alicent feeds him some of his special dreamy drink. Which of course makes it harder for him to know who he’s talking to. And he thinks he’s talking to Rhaenyra.
He tells Alicent that The Song of Ice and Fire is true, that Aegon’s Dream is true, that the Prince that Was Promised must unite the realm against the dark and cold, and that “It is you. You are the one. You must do this.”
Now to Rhaenyra this message would be clear. She’s Azor Ahai. She must step up and be Queen.
To Alicent? God knows what she must make of those snatched phrases and disjointed ideas. But since she heard “Aegon” and “You must unite the realm”, I’m guessing she’s figured at the very least her son should be King. She tells Viserys she understands, then leaves him alone to sleep.
Viserys, his final task done, reaches his wilted fingers up towards the sky, towards something. “No more,” he whispers, tears running down his face. With his last breath, he calls out “My love”, finally, after 20 years, reunited with his true love Aemma.
So after ALL THAT, after finally bringing his house together - or as together such a pack of certifiable inbred loonies can get - a case of mistaken identity brings the whole house of cards tumbling down again.
Yay! Best Moments
Viserys entering the Great Hall for one last session on the Iron Throne was incredible. It was achingly slow, and you felt every last sting of pain the King felt as he hauled his disintegrating body up the aisle.
There was another lovely little moment when greeting Rhaenyra that Alicent noticed the scar on her arm, and Rhaenyra noticed her noticing and immediately hid the wound. Just a small touch that spoke volumes about regret and embarrassment.
Zing! Best Lines
This wasn’t major, but it tickled my fancy. Alicent was alerted to Aegon’s latest act of bastardry by a newer Kingsguard with a perfectly manicured beard and man bun, but straggly long hair out the back.
ARRYK: Your Grace, a matter has arisen that requires your attention.
ALICENT: Whatever it is, Ser Arryk, it will have to wait.
ERRYK: I’m Erryk, Your Grace.
ALICENT: Of course. My apologies, Ser.
Ewww, gross
There’s a brief sequence in the Red Keep’s… morgue? Mini-sept? Funeral home? The place where they prep dead bodies for burial, whatever that’s called.
Vaemond is laid out getting washed and possibly embalmed so he can be returned to Driftmark for burial, and his head is just sitting about six inches away from his neck. He looks like one of those South Park cartoons about Canadians.
The Grand Maester suggests Rhaenys leave, saying it’s bad luck to look upon the face of death. But she says The Stranger has visited her so often, he doesn’t care whether her eyes are open or closed, so if you don’t mind, she’s just going to stand here and watch the whole thing. Is it an act of respect? Or is she enjoying it? Oh I know - she just didn’t want to go to the big family dinner.
Speaking of gross - no Lord Larys Strong this episode. Must have been back at Harrenhal. I’m honestly surprised he wasn’t on the Small Council with the increasingly doddery Lord I’M COVERED IN BEESbury, Tyland Lannister and a random dude I haven’t learned the identity of yet. But I’m sure he’ll show up again. He’s ready and willing to jump to Alicent’s aid after all.
Boo, sucks
Poor Lord Corlys. All this fuss and the poor bugger isn’t even dead. In the very first scene Rhaenys actually said his ship was due to make landfall within three days, which should mean after the settlement dispute. Hopefully he’s still alive! It would suck for the inimitable Sea Snake to have a disappointing off-screen death.
And of course, if he does recover, what will he think about Daemon slicing his brother’s head off?
Thank you so much for reading, kittens! Remember you can find my Patreon here and sign up to throw a few bucks per month my way while the season is running. The support is incredible, and I cannot thank you enough!