I need to start by acknowledging a comment on my previous recap from long-time Raven On loyalist and Patron Elana. She said “I get the feeling you’re still not enjoying this”, and I want to assure you Elana that is not the case!
I am very much enjoying the series, and it’s quite hard to hit STOP at the end of each instalment and write a recap instead of letting the King of Goth’s mellifluous tones wash over me with their hypnotically deep prettiness.
But perhaps it is fair to say that my good regard hasn’t yet jumped into the deep end of the obsession pool. I’m still splashing around the shallow end on a poop emoji-shaped water float.
I wished I looked this good on a giant inflatable turd.
I wonder if it’s because so far we are dealing with mostly supernatural figures of immense power.
One of the reasons I loved Game of Thrones so much is that the main characters were all regular humans. Sure, some were strong, cool fightin’ types, and others were supersmart mega-pinters with relentless sex drives, but they were all mortal.
And yes, I know, it was the show with the dragons. But not at first. At first, it was a show about politicking and problematic family dynamics. It was, all blood magic and wildfire and White Walkers aside, about human beings doing stupid human being things.
The most obvious example is Dream himself. You would THINK I’d be immediately drawn to a brooding, dressed-in-all-black type with distinctive hair and resting sad face. It IS my type.
Will I ever tire of putting Jon Snow gifs in non-related recaps?
We saw ripples of Dream’s personality in this episode, but for the most part, it’s still hidden under the smooth, placid exterior of a more-than-a-god god.
Put simply, I don’t find him relatable enough yet to launch into a full-scale call for #abs.
But perhaps we’re getting there, if only because of his sartorial choices. His fightin’ outfit was quite something - I’m not a fashion designer, but the leather sleeves and tunic detail were either worn over his coat or instead of it, and the lines suited him beautifully.
In fact, all the costumes in the hellscape were glorious. Expect to see every cosplayer in existence turn up as these characters next convention season:
I didn’t write down the chick in the background’s name. She didn’t say much, but she was named, so she must be someone.
Speaking of Game of Thrones, let’s put our hands together for a magnificent appearance from Brienne of Tarth as Lucifer Morningstar!
Gwendolen Christie is great as Satan, appearing first in the glowing white robes of the Lightbringer, the colour made starker by the black leathery wings that immortalise her Fall.
There’s a bit of setup to get to Lucifer’s throne room of course, as Morpheus and Matthew turn up on the very edge of Mordor, sorry, Hell. It turns out hell IS real, for those who believe in it anyway. Seems very convenient for those of us who ticked “No Religion” on the Census form. No consequences! Woo-hoo! Hand me my stabbin’ knife!
Ahem.
I must say the production values on Hell were very good. Lucifer’s obviously got a very good interior decorator with excellent mood boards. The way that bodies of the damned were cut and curved into the hills and trees of the landscape was genuinely spooky.
I very much appreciated the distinction in this series of Hell being very cold, rather than the whole “burning pits” motif so loved by religious tradition.
I loved the “You have to bring your own fire to hell?!” quip from Matthew the Talking Raven, and I wish it had been explained further. Where do dead souls get the fire from? Are souls destined for Hell just naturally sprout fire as soon as they shuffle off their mortal coils?
Squabblefloat, or some similarly named demon, allows Morpheus entry to Hell, and it’s good to see Hell sticking with traditional metal key technology rather than upgrading to iris scanning or DNA reading or something you’d expect to find in Hell if it were a Black Mirror episode.
Wobblegoat leads them on a trek, which allows Morpheus to Dream-splain some key factoids to Matthew - including the identity of a beautiful African woman who rushes to confront our Goth King halfway up a mountain.
Dream immediately turned from a hot white guy to a hot black guy, obviously to reflect the visage he had when he knew her. They had been in love 10,000 years ago, but Nada betrayed him in an unspecified way. She did yell that she would never give up on getting his forgiveness, but Dream seems pretty content to move on to confront Lucifer.
Now listen. Gwendoline Christie’s Devil is great, all softness and kindness while simultaneously presiding over bickering demons in her Isengard-style fortress.
But I have a slight problem with the wager for the helm.
First of all there’s a bit of business with Dream using his sand to bring the demon who has his helm into the throne room. I mean, given Dream had just been telling Matthew only the “Creator” was more powerful than Lucifer, you’d think Morningstar could click fingers and summon the demon responsible. But OK fine, this Duke of Hell Chorizo turns up with his pretty helmet that he doesn’t want to give back.
So, it’s a challenge. Demon Dukey appoints Lucifer as his champion. Why? Well, so we can have a showdown between the awesome Morpheus and the awesome Devil. I get that.
But the stakes are too high, and therefore become ridiculous. If Dream loses, he has to be Demon Dukey’s servant in hell forever. This is only episode four of a ten part series. There’s no way Dream could lose this early in proceedings with that as the risk. To bastardise Terry Pratchett, one in a million chances crop up nine times out of ten.
I always like to offer constructive solutions, so an alternative could be that Demon Dukey takes Morpheus on in the challenge, seconded by Lucifer. The wager is if Dream loses, he is banished from hell and never allowed to return as an honoured guest, losing his chance to obtain the helm. Lucifer can still help the spiky-faced dude, or even step in for the last verbal parry, but would still be humiliated enough by her lackey’s loss.
Despite this, the way the joust was conducted was utterly delightful to me, because a) I totally called how it would end, and b) they essentially played an improv game.
I’m serious. There are various improv games that use detail, acceptance and heightening to create tension, and this was a prime interpolation.
Player 1 gives an offer. Player 2 accepts the offer, then builds on it with their own ideas. Back and forth you go, creating a world for your scene, until a suitable resolution is found.
Sure, they bulked it out with cool digital effects, and sure, it was hella fun to hear Brienne of Tarth talk about being a direwolf, but ultimately I’ve done as much in a Saturday afternoon workshop.
And yes, the final answer of hope being the quality that can survive in the “anti-life” - I nailed that one. Very proud of myself. I didn’t get the caveat about how Lucifer would have no power if those in hell couldn’t dream of heaven - ‘cause what are people in heaven doing then? Dreaming of hell? “It’s so lovely up here Sharon, but every so often I yearn to be a never-ending spit roast on a pike”.
(Note: I imaged searched “Spit roast gif” to find some comedic pic here and DEAR GOD DO NOT EVER DO THIS MY EYES)
Still, Morpheus won the day, and got to stride out triumphantly in slow motion, without looking backwards at hell. BECAUSE HE’S MORPHEUS. WHICH IS ONLY ONE LETTER REMOVED FROM ORPHEUS. WHO WALKED OUT OF HELL AND DID LOOK BACK. I THINK IT WAS A NOD, BUT I COULD BE OVER-THINKING THIS. I’M QUITE TIRED. I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP. OMG THAT’S MORPHEUS’ KINGDOM. IT’S ALL CONNECTED, SHEEPLE.
The other storyline this episode mirrored Dream’s journey to hell to retrieve his precious helm, by having a newly free Johnny journey to upstate New York to retrieve his precious ruby.
He was given a lift by Rosemary, the sports psychologist from the second series of Ted Lasso, and it was great she took the time to help in between helping AFC Richmond get their mojo back for the Premier League.
Johnny’s been locked up for 30 years, so he’s quite happy to open the hatch and let the non-filtered verbal diarrhoea flow. He drones on about his mother dying, and not being a good person, and how she lied to him, and how he just had to kill a few dudes when they tried to control him, and it’s nice there are good people in the world like Rosemary.
After starting with a sympathetic ear, it isn’t long before Rosemary progresses to having a terrified heart.
She fakes the need for petrol in order to get the service station attendee to call 911 to report Johnny, who’s busy looking for a drink. Things get tense when the attendee pulls out his gun and orders Johnny to leave Rosemary alone.
“You’ll only be hurting yourself,” Johnny warns the attendee, but he cannot help but fire off a shot. Johnny’s amulet, lately restored to him from his dead mother, seems to work by turning an attacker’s attack back on themselves, with extra ‘splodey-ness for funsies.
We see the attendee’s remains splatter on the window of the service station, and Johnny gets back in the truck with Rosemary. She wants to know if he’s going to kill her, but he seems to understand her betrayal at this point. He won’t kill her unless she gives him a reason - and as long as they go to get his ruby.
They turn up at the storage locker just after Morpheus. After getting the hell out of… hell, he slapped his helm on and beamed he and Matthew the Talking Raven right to that locker. He immediately retrieves his ruby, and is immediately shocked intounconsciousness from the altered stone. Somehow Johnny fails to notice the living embodiment of Dreams sprawled out on the floor of the container.
Again, I have a clarification to request at this point. Johnny said he’d been locked up for 30 years, and one assumes he placed the ruby in storage before he was captured. It’s pretty lucky the storage facility is still there, the door appears to be unlocked, and his ruby still where he left it, especially considering it put out a distinctive red glow.
I would have thought, given the state of America’s late-stage capitalism, that the storage facility would have turned over unattended units to one of those reality TV shows where gutsy chancers buy the contents of lockers unseen in the hope somebody abandoned a Picasso and a Bugatti Veyron.
But the ruby is still there, Johnny grabs it, ignores the Goth asleep on the floor and discovers that Rosemary is still waiting for him in the truck. Against her better judgement, she offers him another ride. He tells her good people don’t survive long in this world, which she takes as a sign he’s about to mulch her as well. She only asks that her lovely Rottie Susie be spared, and for that reason we know Rosemary is genuinely good.
But Johnny has a different idea. He gives her the deadly amulet, encouraging her to wear it as protection against the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of this world.
I really can’t wait to find out how many people Rosemary goes on to eviscerate for even looking at her dog sideways.
Johnny walks off saying the ruby can make dreams come true - and he’s going to use it to save the world. Always a good sign, when a lone man reckons he knows what’s best for the world at large. Never ends badly, that.
No sign of Mr Corinthian this week - although his whole vibe is so bland it’s possible I just missed him.
With Dream still one Horcrux, sorry, instrument of office down, I can only assume we’re going to see him chase Johnny next episode. Join me then, for more The Sandman!
A very special thank you to ALL of my wonderful Patrons, who have kept the wolves from my door during these past few years of plague and uncertainly. I am forever in your debt! If you’re interested in joining my Patreon as we get ready for House of the Dragon, click here.