Oh! My dear, sweet summer children!
How I have longed for you, and perhaps even more so, how I have longed to make you laugh.
House of the Dragon Season 2 is now mere weeks away, and I have been so very derelict in my duty to provide you with related content.
Clearly that is because SOMEONE who was NECESSARY to the ENTIRE OPERATION of my LIFE is RUDELY not around which OFTEN makes the whole EXERCISE seem POINTLESS that COMPLETE and UTTER BASTARD.
Kittens, you must forgive me for doing SHAKES FIST AT SKY-style jokes about my wonderful friend Stuart Layt.
My grief seems to have manifested in me cursing his good name every time I think of him, which believe me, is many times per day. I may have carpal tunnel syndrome from all the fist-shaking I do in his memory.
Stu would appreciate this reference.
The alternative seems to be sitting lumpenly, staring into the distance, or doom-scrolling on the internet that Stu so loved and hated at the same time. So muttering and swearing and banging my hands on table-tops seems like at least the more energetic option.
A looming reunification with the world of Westeros has honestly been intimidating, when I think of all the joy I would have had deep-diving into the details with Stu on the Raven On podcast.
I’ll be honest with you - I still don’t know exactly what the hell I’m going to do with it come show time.
But I’m trying to remember that I started my recaps on my own, and did seasons 2, 3 and 4 of Game of Thrones before setting up the accompanying gabfest with Stu.
Sure, he made everything better, funnier, smarter and more entertaining, because that’s the kind of SHOW PONY he was - but maybe I can find a way to bring that shared love and delight in the extended Wester-verse to the written recaps. And I’ve got to prove to myself that I still can do them.
So let me start to remedy that situation now, with a look at the most recent and comprehensive trailer for House of the Dragon Season 2.
Obviously it’s a lot of ominous snippets of dialogue, dispensed over imagery of charging horses, petulant teenagers, restless peasants, and dragons at turns bulky and awkward, or sleek and furious.
Let’s pick out a few juicy highlights.
“War is coming, and neither of us may win.”
Once again, I’m going in as blind as I possibly can to this new series. I mean, clearly, I know the above statement is rather an understatement, considering Shireen Baratheon told us the Dance of the Dragons ended badly for everyone just before her father Stannis saw fit to let Kate Bush send her “running up that hill”, by which I mean “burning her alive for good battle juju”.
“Dad? Dad? You got the metaphor, right? Dad?”
(Slight aside, a while back on a whim I began watching The Tunnel on Britbox, because a general soother for me is a British detective series, and Stannis aka Stephen Dillane plays the English cop in that and it’s rather a fun watch, if you’re into that sort of thing).
Stu was the one who’d read Fire & Blood, and knew all the details. I’ve got an Aemond-style eyepatch over both eyes here.
So while I know we’re going to lose a lot more people this season, I really have no insights on whom that might be. The Sea Snake perhaps? He only just recovered from illness at the end of last season. Perhaps his wife Rhaenys, a casualty of a family’s fracture? Or Otto Hightower, getting on in years?
What I can hazard a guess at is that our old friend Daemon Targaryen is going to be responsible for a good number of them, with Aemond probably coming in second.
“All Hail King Aegon His Face”
By the Old Gods and New, hasn’t getting the crown given this guy an ego enema for the ages.
Even though the source of their blonde locks were different gene pools, Aegon is giving off some real Joffrey Baratheon vibes here. You never want to do that. Although if it means we might see Aegon also choke to death on bird pie, then go for it, I’m all for witnessing blondes in distress.
I’m very proud of this visual joke, but the irony is I haven’t even watched The Crown. I know, right? Me, the history buff, not watching the drama slash soap opera about the royals? Madness!
Jerky McJerkballs is seen yelling for revenge - but for what? Dragon-bombing his coronation? His figuratively AND literally cycloptic bro already saw off their poor cousin Lucerys at the end of Season 1.
Otto looks slightly perturbed in giving advice about the news spreading throughout the land, and one can only hope his Season 1 scheming is coming back to bite him in his Hightower butt via a nauseating grandson.
Looking sane there, champ.
Oh No Are Mummy and Daddy Fighting?
Over in King’s Landing, Alicent is ruling very much as the King’s mother (and the Queen’s mother too, come to think of it), the Hand’s daughter, and the rival Queen’s ex-bestie.
She seems to be pleading for calm in much of the trailer; and we even see glimpses of her under threat from some revolting peasants.
Near identical outfits, but I don’t recall Alicent’s daughter looking like this. Perhaps a lady-in-waiting?
One thing she is NOT though, is someone’s wife. Viserys is dead, she doesn’t need to negotiate sensitive gender roles with an intimate partner.
But over on Dragonstone… Rhaenyra seems to be grappling with how much authority she can wield over her unky-hubby Matt Daemon.
They’re both clever, and good strategists, and stubborn as a wine stain in the shape of a mule.
They’re both also still grieving, after losing young Master Luke, not to mention that scaly baby Rhaenyra had to self-deliver just before everything went pear-shaped.
So I think we can expect some tension between the Queen, her uncle, her husband and her chief general, three of whom are the same bloke.
Has… has Jacerys had a Snow-up?
I’m sorry, friends, but when we last saw him, Jacerys was due to fly to the North to secure alliances, and looked like this:
Now I’m not saying I want to flush this dweeb’s head down the school toilets… but I am saying it would be a waste of time because with that haircut some other bullies would have already done it.
It took me a few scrubs through the trailer to realise that Jace must have taken a detour via Queer Eye for the Stark Guy because BABY BOY NOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:
All black? In furs? Rocking a curly black shag? Standing atop The Wall? And with him, once can only assume is a Brandon Stark of some variety, ironically NOT the one with the wolf haircut, but still looking damn impressive?
Have I got this wrong? Is it a different guy? Am I going mad, seeing Jon Snow in every mop-haired goth-adjacent middle-distance starer I see?
To misquote Matthew McConaughey… am I getting older, but all the dark, brooding men I ogle staying the same age?
I am a terrible, terrible person.
Now it’s your turn, kittens. What do you think of the trailer? Are you excited about more HotD being pumped straight into you come June 17?