In place of a proper recap of Kerblam!, please enjoy this beat poem.
S11, E9: Kerblam!
The Doctor
A Package
Not That Kind of Package
The Kerblam! Man! Has Come!
It’s a fez, or so they sez
But wait
A message
H----E----L----P---
M---E----
Immediately
Off to Kerblam! factory planet
A large corporate and almost wholly mechanised delivery company that in no way bears any resemblance to Amazon except it totally does
SATIRE
SOCIAL COMMENTARY
METAPHOR
The humans there are trodden
On their face
Like a boot
By the machine men
Always machine men
They haunt them in their dre----
LEE MACK IS THERE AND JOVIAL
Team TARDIS get jobs
The Doctor swaps with Graham
She’s too good to be a janitor oooOOOooo
They meet a packing girl
She’s sweet
Only ever had one package
No, not that kind of package
But Charlie the maintenance boy wants to
Give her a package
…
…
…
Yes, probably exactly that kind of package
LEE MACK DISAPPEARS
The head staff seem evil
But really they are Concerned and Conscientious and Caring Workers
Up the Workers
Rebel against Bezos I mean Kerblam!
THE DOCTOR AND FRIENDS
HIDE
IN
AN
ALCOVE
Comedy is nothing if not nonsense
Why do my dreams hurt-
Graham is clever
Charlie is horny
GIRL IS MURDERED BY KERBLAMMO BOTS
Guess she didn’t
…
…
…
Like the package
Charlie is the villain
His weapon
BUBBBBBBBBBBLE
WRAPPPPPPPPP
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()<———— Those are bubbles
I got a package today
It had bubble wrap
Will I die now? Is this how it ends for me? For all of us?
No, because the Doctor
SIDES WITH CAPITALISM
Charlie is a stupid kid
Probably joined Get UP
Revolutionary idealistic fanatic
He is all those things but mostly
Horny
The Doctor makes the Kerblammo bots deliver themselves
From evil
Because she tried to forgive Charlie his
trespasses
But he don’t want none, hon
Checkmate Charlie.
Human bosses start thinking about unions, and fair rates, and less punishing work schedules
But no ultimate
ACCOUNTABILITY
Capitalism continues unabated we are doomed
Also there was a prototype delivery bot squid thing
I suppose that was
cool
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